3 Flute Horror Stories

...or, mistakes I made so that you don't have to.

It's officially October, which means the season of pumpkin spice, apple everything, and Halloween is upon us. I’ve never been one for spooky stories, but in the spirit of the season, I thought I’d share three flute “horror stories” from my years as a flute student. They may give you a laugh (and maybe a shiver), but most importantly, I hope you can learn from my mistakes!

1. The Curse of the Broken Flute

College auditions are stressful - and even more stressful when your flute breaks the night before your audition.

I had spent months preparing for my first-ever college audition for Oberlin Conservatory. It was a regional audition, which meant that I had the option of auditioning in LA instead of flying all the way out to Ohio.

The night before the audition, I wanted to get in one last practice session in. But as I started to play, something felt off. I don't remember what the issue was - it could have been a torn pad or a loose screw. All I knew was that my flute was no longer functioning. In a panic, I called my local music store, Bertrand's Music, to see if I could rent a flute from them, but they had just closed for the night.

I suddenly remembered that a friend of mine had recently bought the exact same flute as me - a silver Azumi. (What are the odds, right?) He graciously allowed me to borrow his flute for the weekend, saving me the embarrassment of using my marching band flute - a battered, nickel-plated Yamaha - for the audition.

So I did my Oberlin audition on a borrowed flute. The audition itself was shaky and I didn't play my best, but the story has a happy ending - I did get into Oberlin.

Moral of the story: Always have access to a backup flute in case of a repair emergency. It also doesn’t hurt to have some basic instrument repair knowledge.

2. The Vanishing Page

As a senior in high school, the last band concert of the school year is always a big deal. One of the pieces we were playing had a big flute solo, and I was prepared to play it. I remember being onstage in the middle of the performance, taking a deep breath, turning the page, and -

the music wasn't there. I was staring at a blank sheet of paper.

I frantically flipped pages for a few seconds before scooting my chair over to read off of the second flute’s music and pieced together the solo which I had half-memorized. It turned out I had accidentally put the music in the sheet protector backwards. I could feel people in the band staring at me. The director gave me a funny look. This was not how I envisioned the last concert of the season would go down.

Moral of the story: Prepare your music, page-turns and all, well before the day of the concert. If you are using sheet protectors, double-check that all of your music is in the correct page order.

3. Time Travel Terror

I had some amazing performance opportunities in Scotland, where I lived for 2 years while I was pursuing my Master's Degree. One day I was asked by a former teacher of mine to substitute for her in "Peter and the Wolf." This had always been one of my dream pieces, and thankfully I had the famous orchestral excerpt ready to go in my back pocket.

It turned out an acquaintance of mine was also subbing that night. He had a friend who had lived in Scotland for a few years, owned a car, and knew how to drive on the (ahem) wrong side of the road. I accepted his invitation to carpool to the venue in order to save time (and whales).

Glasgow to St. Andrews is only about an hour and a half by car. On the way, our driver wanted to stop for coffee. No big deal - we had left with time to spare. Then, he missed the exit. There was no turn-around outlet for some time, and we had to backtrack at least ten miles before he found the way again.

Did I mention I also get very carsick when I sit in the back seat?

Silently freaking out in the car, I did all I could - emailed the orchestra manager and conductor and explained the situation, apologizing profusely.

Finally we reached the venue. I stumbled into the concert hall nauseous, frustrated, and terrified that the conductor would chew us out for arriving barely before the start of rehearsal. I sat down just as the oboe was giving the tuning note. Thankfully the conductor did not say anything and was very understanding when I apologized in person afterward. The rest of the evening went on without any other incidents. She must have liked the way I played, because I was asked to sub again for another concert... to which I took a train. By myself.

Because of this incident, I have made it a rule not to carpool with others I do not know when traveling to gigs in new locations.

Moral of the story: Know the people you are traveling with, map out the route ahead of time, and leave plenty of time in advance to arrive at the gig. Better to be an hour early to rehearsal than to arrive a minute before the downbeat. Also, prepare your coffee beforehand!

Happy fluting!